Well, it’s over now…

Well, it’s all over now, the racers are in, the awards and trophies have been given out, and the excitement is over. 6 days 21 hours and 29 minutes–WOW what an accomplishment! I am so honored to be around these extraordinary athletes, because like it or not that’s what they are–ATHLETES.

I learned a lot from the race, admittedly, I came here for selfish reasons, as I have always wanted to do this race but wanted to get an idea of the logistics and some of the hurdles one would face doing it. I did and got so much more out of it. I met some really cool people that I am sure we will be lifelong friends, and I am sure I will be back here next year as a rider. I am confident of that, I say that because I found that if you let everyone know what your goals are, the more you will be driven to achieve them.

It is a daunting task I am taking on, I am by no means an ‘ultra-cyclist,’ but would like to take n this challenge. People who know me know that when I put my mind to doing something, that I do it, o matter what. Or as someone said to me, ‘you’re the right kind of stubborn to do the race.’. Thanks Jenn, you know me well! As I said, it is an extremely tough race, and it is extremely expensive, I will have to,raise at least $10,000 to do it, and since I want to put together a four man team, that means $40,000, a really big number. The next thing I have to do is find three or four other committed souls that will raise the money, train, and be crazy enough to attempt this thing!

The other thing I am thinking about is, recumbent or diamond frame? I prefer to do this on a recumbent, but I am sure I will find more interested parties on a diamond frame. I have to figure out if I want to do 750 miles on a diamond frame, which I don’t but if that’s the team I can put together then I will have to make that sacrifice. I will have a year to train and raise the necessary funds, I don’t see the fundraising as a problem, really, I do see the training as an issue, but since my new found fitness, getting not the gym isn’t that big a deal.

So, tomorrow I leave to go back to NY, I was supposed to leave on Monday, but I really just want to get home already. There is so much going on that I just want to go home and deal with it. I wrote about my wife moving out, and how sad I was, but I haven’t thought about it n a few days with all the excitement and such. It’s funny we started to talk when she moved out, which is ironic in that had we talked prior to that I may not be in this situation, but c’est la vie, right?

I don’t know if I am looking forward to tomorrow or dreading it as I will dredge up emotions that I have been fighting since this all started happening. But, I have to be a big boy and deal with it I guess. As I write about it now, I am still sad, but in the long run I think it will be best for both of us. I keep feeling like I failed at this, my friend Scott says ‘everyone’s entitled to a starter marriage,’ but I didn’t want a starter marriage, I wanted one that would last a long time, and it sort of did, but not the way I wanted it to. I don’t know how long these feelings of inadequacy will last, but I hope they go away soon.

My friend Diesel, says that look once you go out there and start dating, you will feel a whole lot different. I don’t look forward to that, as I have always been a little on the shy side. YES–I did say SHY! I never liked the whole dating scene, too many games being played, just not into that really. I say I’ll never get married again, but then my friends tell me I’ve heard that before and then that person ends up marrying the next person they start to date! Will this be my fate? I make it sound so dooming…or is it damning?

I am supposed to workout with Gabriella and Eileen tomorrow, I have been extremely bad the last two weeks between my nutrition and working out, but I knew that was going to happen, since I was in a CAR for the last week! I will weigh myself tomorrow and see just how bad I was. I pray to be the same weight at least instead of gaining, but then after starting to go back to the gym, I am sure the pounds will be gone again soon.

I was watching the Olympic trials tonight and damn are those chicks fit! I always said if I ever had
a six pack, I would NEVER wear a shirt again, it seems like my belly is a problem area, but I guess it is for everyone. Allan says it’s all nutrition, which I believe is true, but it’s got to be something else. If I don’t start seeing a difference soon, I will have to start planning my extended vacation to Thailand–if you know what I mean…

What else, it seems the more I share my story, the more readers I get of my blog, which is great, I guess everyone loves a good soap opera right and boy oh boy do I ever have one going on in my life! I don’t mind, I don’t write this blog to slam anyone or spread my business out there, I write it because it is cathartic for me, it helps me to read how I felt on ‘x’ day, if that means I am sharing it with the world then so be it, I don’t have anything to hide, I have a great life!

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