Workout for week of 2-25-2013

It’s been a pretty emotional week so far, haven’t made it to the gym at all this week.  I really feel like a bum, but just so bummed out.  I know if I get the endorphins going I’ll probably get out of the funk, but I can’t motivate to leave the house.

2-25-2012–bummed out at home

2-26-2013–more bummed out planned to go to Whipped with Frank, but couldn’t motivate

2-27-2013–even more bummed out, I usually rest on Wednesday, but I’ve been resting all week seemingly

2-28-2013–I really thought I was going to make it but didn’t again

3-1-2013–going to try and make it to Stacked and Animal Flow, I’ll have to punish myself and do both classes to make up for it!

3-2-13–St Patrick’s Day in Hoboken, it will be a madhouse, I dare not even try and go thru there, as to get on the PATH I will have to go thru Hoboekn, hmmm, that is unless I go thru Journal Square.  I have an appointment down toward Summit anyway, so we’ll see.  Maybe I’ll check out Summit or Paramus.

3-3-2013–Purgatory Boot Camp with Angel Alicea?

Let’s see next week has got to be better than this week.

Great race writeup from Ironman Panama, one day maybe I can write my own report…


I had reason to be afraid of competing in Ironman 70.3 Panama race. For four months, my training had been inconsistent at best, I was not accustomed to the heat, and I lacked mental focus and confidence. I had been struggling with a lack of motivation for what seemed like a very long time. Perhaps my years of racing had taken a toll on me. I feared that I would never regain the drive I once had.

I have been racing since I was 17. In 2008, I began racing as a guide for visually impaired athletes, which has become my passion. Over the past five years, I have mostly competed in triathlons as a guide. Though guiding is often more challenging than racing solo, at some point over the past few years I stopped feeling like the strong athlete I used to be. I know that I have created…

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Evidently someone reads my blogs…lol

My blog is way for me to work ‘shit’ out, sorry to be so colloquial, but I AM from The Bronx right? People who follow my blogs tell me they like it because I don’t hold back, and I don’t I really am like the ‘CIA’ (thanks Carolyn), I keep everything inside me, you never really know what’s going on, I don’t like to speak about me feelings. My Mom was never a ‘touchy feely’ Mom and we never said ‘I love you,’ like on TV!

My girlfriend Jennifer whom I met in college was the first person I really expressed my feelings to, we said ‘I love you,’ all the time, and expressed feelings, maybe I was in the ‘FBI’ not the ‘CIA” at the time, because there were times that I kept everything in and she really had to ‘poke the bear’ to get me to say what I was thinking about. I started to hold things in at times, and that did lead to some problems, but what we had really was genuine and we would work thru it.

Well, I’m not going thru our whole opus as I don’t want to bore anyone, the people who need to know know the entire story! Fst forward, evidently Jenn reads my blog–well, maybe it’s due to her insomnia, but hell I’ll take it! Jenn is a fabulous writer and just a sweetheart in general, she like the others ultimately was too good for me because I could be an asshole at times, but can’t change now!

Jenn’s a fabulous writer, she got me through Freshman Comp, I think she may have been in class with me, I know her roommate Alpa, was (which is how we met), but I remember her reading my papers and correcting them. Well, I’ll never have her writing abilities; I asked her for a critique of my blog. I know my grammar isnt the best a lot, but most of you guys are dummies anyway and just want to be a fly on the wall. LOL, I know you all don’t want to be flies on the wall…lol–seriously!

Jenn’s critique…you have a lot of grammatical errors but a great vocabulary. Hmmm, should I be offended?

Love ya JJ! lol

Workout for week of 2-11-2013

Tough week of work this past week, it was very emotional, and a little crazy.
Monday 2-11-2013: Worked out with Michael, did a little chest and back–got tot he gym late
Tuesday 2-13-2013: Whipped with Frank Salzone, Frank went back to the original classic Whipped, not as much fun, but still a good sweat, I had a really bad day going to Meg’s wake, and was so bummed out, crying all day, the workout really made me feel good, those endorphins really helped to make me feel better.
Wednesday 2-14-2013: Went to the Die Hard movie marathon with such an emotional last 5 days, it felt good to just relax and be mindless at a dumb movie! Got to see all the movies and the new movie a, as well as meet Bruce Willis, ask him a question and shake his hand! I’m not a ‘starf’er,’ but it was pretty cool. Thanks to my friend Sandy who invited me and got my mind off things!
Thursday 2-15-2013: No gym, was with clients, at least I got a deal done by not going to the gym–congrats Stef and Veronica
Friday 2-16-2013: Stacked with John Cianca, really good class, developed by the lovely Angela Leigh, it is surprisingly tough, as you stack an exercise after exercise for 2 round with 6 exercises in each round.
Saturday 2-17-2013: Yoga at 9:30 AM, with Lisa Landphair and then Shockwave at 10:25 AM, yoga is great for the stretch and the mind, Shockwave is great for the intensity, plus the lovely Danielle Hopkins, is a great instructor!
Sunday 2-18-2013: Purgatory Boot Camp, I didn’t realize Angel Alicea was in Trinidad for Carnival, ironic I was born in Trinidad but have never been to Trinidad, just not my scene

Next week is a a new week, new challenges ahead. This week was tough with all the Meg stuff, I did a lot of introspective soul searching, thought about a lot of things. I believe I had two great loves in my life, Jenn and Meg; Jenn due to me being young and foolish, I think it was mutual, and Meg for being older and selfish. I won’t let the third one get away, I am sad I can’t say that my wife was a true love in my life, I am not bitter, but if I really look at what happened we just weren’t made for each other from the beginning.

Yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, go out a LIVE–that’s why they call it THE PRESENT!

I had a really good day, whew…

IMG_3196 IMG_3198 IMG_3199 IMG_3200 IMG_3201 IMG_3202 IMG_3203 IMG_3205 IMG_3206 IMG_3207 IMG_3208 IMG_3209 IMG_3210 IMG_3211 IMG_3212 IMG_3214 IMG_3215 IMG_3216 IMG_3220 IMG_3221Well, I spent all day at the Die Hard Marathon, it started about 9:00AM this morning and went all the way until around 10:30PM. Man oh man was that a day! I went with my friend Sandy, one of her friends flaked–too bad for HER. We ended up seeing all the movies, going to a VIP event, and we were even chosen to go up and ask Bruce Willis a question. THey questions were planned, the question I was give ‘How did you decide to pick Jai for the role.’ Honestly I didn’t even know what he was saying, because I was thinking how cool it was to even be up here asking the question!

The movies were great–well, except for the second one, that movie sucked. I know I fell asleep halfway thru it, because I caught myself snoring–lol. Sandy ducked out for the second movie and had to go to work, but came back for the rest of them. In retrospect I should have ducked out and went to the gym instead of just sleeping thru the second movie. Irregardless, it was a lot of fun, considering what’s been going on the last several days.

I kept it together most of the day, but when Sandy met me at Dean&Deluca’s I don’t know why I was crying again! I don’t know I just feel sad, sometimes knowing Meg is gone. At the same time I also feel guilty because I ask myself; ‘do I have the right to be upset, I mean it’s not like we were together?’ I waited so long to be with her, I had a crush on her since she was 15 or 16, and never acted on it–damn shyness Why did I wait for 24 years to do something about it? When I see how young Meg passed away, I have to question why I didn’t do something sooner. If we all knew when would die wouldn’t we approach things differently, and really go for it?

I don’t know, today was a lot better. I am feeling more at ease now and I feel like things are going to be ok. Like everything else I know this will pass also, but I keep thinking I can’t believe she is gone, so young, only 4 days short of being 43 yrs old. I also know and saw some of the nice people from Meg’s neighborhood who came to the wake, along with other friends. I wonder who will come to my wake? Will I even have a wake? Will anyone even claim my body? I feel so lonely and as if I have nothing. It’s tough to be this age and not have any real prospects. I mean how many of these weirdos from OkCupid am I going to go out with! LOL! It really sucks to be 44 and alone, I would love to have someone to share good and bad times with. I thought I would of had that by being married, but how was I to know that would be the loneliest time of my life. I can look back and admit that now, but in the midst of it, I just seemed sweep my feelings under the rug. 😦

If you know anyone who wants to meet a surly, goofball, don’t be afraid to set me up!