They are dropping like flies…

So I un-friended a couple of people on Facebook, many don’t even know, and the few that found out were really annoyed. Does un-friending someone erase them from your life? I don’t know why I did it, maybe I do deep down inside of me but I did do it anyway, but I didn’t really think anything of it. In this new millennium, is the act o un-friending someone the ultimate ‘fuck you’ to them? I sue hope not, I still hope to be friends with these people not online but in real life. When I explained this to one of them, my friend said ‘ok, so you rather be friends with 1500 people some of whom you’ve never even met than me who you have actually interacted with?’ This was a good point and I guess by my actions that is what I said.

It’s cold outside and I’ve been home since about 6:00PM, not a very productive or even fun Saturday night. The weather this past week has been terrible, it just makes everything seem all the more ‘sucky’ for lack of a better term. I don’t know it feels like there should be more…I feel like I haven’t left a mark on this world. In the movie ‘Contact’ there’s a part when John Hurt is in space with the Russians, where he speaks of his gift to all those who have given, then he interrupts himself and says ‘all that I have TAKEN so much from.’ This is certainly how I feel at times, do we all make a mar on this world? I think very few of us do, but do we even care or do we choose to just exist in the world?

I applied to join The Peace Corps several months ago, the vetting process is a long one. The process may take up to a year or more, I am hoping that I do make the cut as this would be my way of giving back and maybe making a difference, is that a lot to ask? I don’t know, right now everything seems so up in the air, things were so much simpler before. The anniversary of my mother’s death is this month and maybe that’s why I am feeling so melancholy, I thought it would be easier to deal with as the years go by, but this is only the third year and it does hurt still. There are still things that are unfinished, I don’t know how to finish them or just let it go.

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