Well, at least I kind of smiled?  I look a little constipated, that’s one of the instructors at Equinox, Lynze Schiller, she is one of TWO people in the entire country that teaches Jukari:  Fit to Fly at Equinox, it is a trapeze like workout.  It’s not as ominous as it sounds, it’s actually a lot of fun.  I’ll only go when she teaches, but she teaches on Saturday and I can’t make it to her class due to work.  If you haven’t tried it–GET ON IT!

I’ve been bummed out all day.  It’s my first Easter alone.  Not that Easter is all that big a deal as I am Hindu anyway, but it is a time when family gets together.  Seeing as I have no family it’s a little bittersweet, so I felt all alone most of the day, it does bum me out a bit, but in the end this is what I wanted.  I think I am happy at times, but I don’t know if I really am.  I don’t want to lament too much as I do ultimately have a really good life so I shouldn’t complain.  But there’s something missing–no one to share it with, which sucks.

I got my ass kicked yesterday by Danielle, I did spin and Shockwave back to back–WTF was I thinking?  I hadn’t done it in a while and the only reason I did do it was because Lisa’s Yoga class was cancelled, so I figured might as well do something.  I only made it to the gym once this week and that was yesterday.   ate like crap too, chinese food last night and pizza today.  That can only lead to no good.  I’ve got a big trip this summer I have to get ‘Speedo ready!’  One bad day won’t kill me as even the instructors at the gym tell me, so I won’t flagellate myself too much.

Well next Saturday is the first Civilian Military Combine!  I did one of the meetups this week just to see the new format, it’s not that bad.  7 Push Press, 7 Kettlebell throws, 7 Burpeee box jumps, AMRAPS (As Many Rep As Possible) in 7 minutes.  I hate the push press!  It’s 75lbs, but to do in that rapid a pace it’s still a tough task!  I finished 3rd to last my first time last May, then in the middle of the pack in September, hoping to be in the 400’s this time, and maybe a little bit better in May?  Then there’s 2 weeks until Spartan at Citifield, that should be fun, I keep wondering what the obstacles will be–is there going to be mud?  Hell it is a mud race…

Well, this week will be better, time heals all wounds right?

I do put up a good face…

I hate to keep believing my own ‘press,’ so to speak.  I think I posted something about just because I don’t cry doesn’t mean I don’t care or something like that–LOL!  You would think the amount of times I post it I would remember it!  Silence gives me a lot of time to contemplate things in my life, so of these things sadden me greatly some make me smile.  Unfortunately there are too many things that make me sad.  I deal with it by putting up a strong face, but I am hurting inside.  That has always been a problem for me–I keep everything inside, one day I do end up blowing up, usually at a person who didn’t deserve it, sometimes they just light the fuse for something that has been there for a long time!

I don’t want to share any of the pain I go thru as I don’t want to bum anyone out.  More and more I have friends that suggest that I should seek professional help, but I am not likely to do that as I feel uncomfortable sharing my feelings, except with those I love.  They may not be the right ones to share with but, it’s all I can manage right now. 

I spent an exciting evening shining my shoes!  It was cathartic in a way, it brought me back to my days in the Army, the spit shine is still an art, and I actually use real spit.  Seriously though I do have to buy cotton balls to make it easier to shine my shoes.  Shouldn’t I have a more ‘exciting’ life?

Latisha came by the office on Friday, she looks great, can’t believe between us we’ve lost a couple people’s worth of weight.  Now I want to get stronger, well not just now but for a while now, I want to start lifting.  Michael does push me, but honestly I hate using the cable equipment, I prefer to actually lift some metal if possible.  Michael being the robot that he is doesn’t want to stray from the cable machines.  Let’s see if Latisha can get me into a good routine which I can keep up with, hell if I can look HALF as good as she does I will consider that an accomplishment!

Today is the vernal Equinox

For the uninformed, that is the day that the sun is more in the northern hemisphere than the southern, obviously signaling the beginning of spring/getting warmer.  Equinox always has a great party that day and today was one.  Only Equinox will have you take a class and then ‘fatten’ you up with wraps, and wine after–LOL!

I hadn’t been to Randi’s spin class in a while and I felt like punishing myself for not making it to the gym yesterday, so I did a double.  Spin and then the ETC primer.  Randi’s class is tough, EVERY TIME I go she is doing hills, I think I see a pattern with her.  I am sure I will be thanking her when I do Gran Fondo NY in a few weeks, man it was tough.  I really had the resistance high, I admit the last set I was sitting and I backed off, but I was DONE–so damn tired!

Then I went to ETC, surprisingly I felt really energized when I got there.  Frank and Danielle were tandem teaching the class.  The class was good, but I don’t know how tough it will be.  I’ll attempt to sign up, I have a feeling the serve will crash with the rush of people trying to get in, but we’ll see what happens.  I still don’t know if I’m going to do it at Printing House or go uptown.  I think I want to go uptown as I’ll meet some new people there which is always a lot of fun!

I had dinner with Karamjeet afterwards.  We went to one of those places on Hudson St that we always pass when going up to Bare Burger.  Dinner was pretty good, I had the turkey burger with Chili on it and FRIES, I haven’t had fries in so long man they tasted good.  I figured I kicked my ass today so I would be ok.  I invited several people to come to the party they were having there, but everyone seems to think Equinox will put the squeeze on them for membership, they really don’t!  They ask you and if you don’t want to that’s the end of it–REALLY!

Tomorrow I have late clients, I am debating whether or not to go to the gym in the morning, but seeing as I am still up, that looks less likely to happen.  We’ll see…Been feeling better lately, things are going well at work, a lot of appointments.  When I’m busy it keeps my mind of ‘things,’ I might as well keep working!

Is too much introspection good?

I was talking to someone last week and we talked about how lucky I have been in many ways.  My mother had 12 miscarriages before she had me, this person was saying that she had ONE miscarriage and she was devastated and to just think that my mother went thru it 12 times is a credit to her tenacity or maybe she just loved to have sex!  LOL!  Hard to think about my mother like THAT, she was a hottie in her day though and will always be a hottie!

My Mom raised me well, even though I was a spoiled brat, probably for the reason above, she still instilled in me a great work ethic, nothing was given–everything was earned!  I still think about her a lot these days, and miss her a lot.  People who have lost their parents 20, 30, and 40 years ago tell me it’s something that they also think about often.  I guess it’s still fresh in my mind hence my compulsion to keep thinking her.  I hope it does get easier one of these days.  But as I sit here in my office, I can’t help but wax poetically about how lucky I am!

Workout for week 3-4-2013 and 3-11 2013

Still was a tough week last week, don’t know been a little down, I wish I could snap out of this funk, exercise helps, but then life takes over right? I can’t live at Equinox…
3-5-2013–Did Whipped, with Danielle, she had to pull out all the stops for the class–48 people. She even used the rowers, I wish she would let Frank use the rowers, it would totally be killer if she did! But this is what people have to do to keep up with Frank!
3-6-2013–made it to Stacked at Printing House with Rico, I never took a class with him before, the class was pretty good.
3-7-2013–I was supposed to do Shockwave with Amanda Young, but I went to the wrong gym, I ended up in METCON3 on the 76th & Amsterdam club.
3-8-2013–Rest, actually I was going to Stacked and maybe Animal Flow, but I was in the office late with clients
3-9-2013–Yoga and Shockwave with Danielle, my usual Saturday double
3-10-2013–I was supposed to go to Purgatory Boot Camp, every Sunday I plan on going but one thing or another I let come up and then I end up not going. I haven’t really made it a priority, I have to get it done, it’s a great class!
3-11-2013–Michael’s back and we were supposed to do some weights, but ended up with clients late and just really wasn’t ‘feeling’ the gym today, so I skipped. If it makes any difference I felt really night about it.
3-12-2013–Whipped with Frank–NOT; I was in the office with Sam & George, we were hoping to get them into an apartment but the landlord stood us up, by the time we got an answer it was too late to get to class
3-13-2013–Studio Cycling with Jamal Smith, I wasn’t expecting uch as I have my regular favorites, but part of the new Ashok I’m supposed to be trying new classes right? Class was killer! I went because someone gave Laura a bad review on RYB, which sucks, but then it reminded me I haven’t been to spin in a while–SO I WENT!
3-14-2013–Shockwave with Amanda Young! This was the class I missed last week when I went to the WRONG gym! I invited Karamjeet, hopefully I won’t kill him if he decides to try the class.
3-15-2013–as of now I plan on going to Stacked, maybe Animal Flow, but Dave is having a party at his place, I plan on going so don’t want to get too caught up at the gym right?
3-16-2013–Yoga and Shockwave, I think there’ll be a sub, as Danielle is going to to St Thomas, hopefully it’s Lynze, LOVE Lynze(and her earthy/hippie wrap!
3-17-2013–Purgatory Boot Camp, definitely will make it as Dave from Printing House wants to try the class, I know it’ll be killer. CMC is only a few weeks away, gotta get ready!

Busy right? Maybe one of these days I’ll meet my gym chick that will get me OUT of the gym so much!

A lot of people may not know…

I have a sister, she’s 20 years older than me.  She was actually adopted, obviously she was always older than me, so growing up I didn’t remember her too, until I was about 8 or 9 years old, my mother would send me to stay with her at her place in Manhattan, she had this shitty apartment on W 49th St, across from where there is now a Credit Lyonnaise.  It’s amazing the things one remembers when sitting around, I guess that’s my inner ‘Rainman,’ coming out with these stupid details I seem to remember.  I had a falling out with here in 2000 and we haven’t spoken since, it was over something stupid, but I can’t let things go and swallow my pride  so there is no chance in reconciling.

I also have a Big Brother, not in the traditional sense I was part of the Big Brother program back in the late 70’s/early 80’s.  My big brother came into my life at a very crucial time, my mother was at wit’s end, the people I was hanging out with weren’t good, and I got into A LOT of trouble, I was really headed down the wrong track, with my mother being so domineering, she probably would have killed me instead of let me get that out of control, but luckily she was able to get me ‘back on the proverbial ranch.’

My big brother Karamjeet, came into my life.  We would meet on Saturdays, he was remarking at a recent dinner we had his amazement that I would actually take the train down The Bronx to NYC and meet him.  We would usually go out and do something, whether it was a movie, hang out at his place, go to the park, we traveled a couple times to what I thought was a far off place–Bronxville (lol, it was only Westchester County–moments from my house in the Bronx). 

I couldn’t tell you specifics of what we did, we did meet almost every week unless Karamjeet was away on a business trip or something.  I remember it as a totally positive experience.  We maintained our relationship for about 6 years, then life got in the way, I was growing up, and Karamjeet started to date his current wife.  We kept in touch from time to time, we saw each other maybe once or twice a year or at least spoke or emailed that much.

When I was in college during my senior year, he offered me a position as an intern at his company in Westport, CT.  I gladly took it, one because it was actually practical experience and I got college credit for it!  I really learned a lot about the power of direct marketing while there.  This was a major part of my success at my Domino’s franchise, I totally bought into the entire direct marketing process, and I understood it more and more.  I saw Domino’s not as a quick service restaurant, but as a marketing company, we marketed our pizza.  Let’s face it I said this while I was there and still say it now.  We didn’t have the greatest pizza in the world we had a great product, it was consistent and you knew that some whacko wasn’t going to bring it to your house–which is what you expect when you order from a franchisee–consistency.  I took a store which did $200K a year prior to my purchase and we were doing over $1,000,000 a year when I left, quite the turnaround right?  Well a lot of that was due to direct marketing which I began to learn about during my internship with Karamjeet!

After college, I ended up franchising, and did my own thing.  I ended up retiring when I was 35 and then looked for my next challenge.  I got my real estate license, and I treated my real estate business as I treated my pizza business, and marketed myself.  Again, direct marketing played a big role in getting me going and my business up and running successfully.  A lot of Realtors at the time, didn’t want to spend the money in marketing themselves and their business, they didn’t realize the power of direct marketing.  Obviously nothing as sophisticated as with Domino’s but, at least put something out there to get your name out there!

Well enough of all the technical ‘mumbo jumbo.’  My point being that my Big Brother played such a major part in my life.  I had dinner with him and his wife a couple nights ago and it was a lot of fun.  We reminisced about the old days seemingly, but what id did remind me of is that we were two strangers introduced to each other 30+ years ago in this program that had been around forever when you do the research on Big Brothers/Big Sisters NYC. 

Did ‘they’ know that these relationships would last this long and the impact it would have on the person(s) life?  I think back about what if he hadn’t been there, what would of happened to me then?  Karamjeet obviously they grew up to be great kids, and he and his wife Judt are the dotting parents.  I get a little emotional when I think about these relationships I have had over the last 44 years of my life and how each one has impacted me.

Being as February was such an emotional month for me, I did a lot of reflecting on all of these people, ones that are still here and ones that have passed on.  It’s amazing how each person effects ones life positively and negatively.  I am lucky to have had more people who have effected my life in a positive way than in a negative way. 

To all of you I thank you greatly for shaping me into the person I am today!