Holiday Blues…

I recently moved into an apartment in Hoboken by myself!  LOL, it’s been a long time since I have lived by myself.  I would even dare say I have NEVER lived by myself.  I lived with my mother, then went away to school, had roommates, moved to Seattle, had a roommate, moved back to the east coast, had a roommate, got married, had a wife/roommate LOL.  Moved back to NJ with roommates, there has always been someone there now I am seemingly alone and I absolutely HATE IT!

I hate this time of year, it is no wonder that the suicide rate is higher this time of year, being that everyone is with their family and when you don’t have any family it makes it that much tougher.  The next month will be brutal as everyone prepares for the holidays and the new year I will be dreading it–the holidays that is.  I look forward to the new year, a new chance for whatever right?

I stay late at my office because I hate going home to the empty apartment, I absolutely just hate being there, did I mention how much I hate being in my apartment?  As I am writing this post I am sitting in my office, because I dread having to go back to that apartment!  That’s right as you are sitting at home, I am sitting in my office typing away this ‘holiday manifesto!’  Silly right?  When I am in my apartment I think of all kinds of sinister things, none of which end with me being ALIVE and happy.  Is this strange or is it normal?  What can I say I guess I am a ‘people person’ to some extent. 

Please don’t call me to ask me if I am ok (I’m sure I won’t do anything I will regret); I have plenty of friends and being with them I greatly enjoy, it’s when I leave their company is when the ‘demons’ start to swirl around in my head.  SO as you enjoy the holidays remember there are people out there that the holidays just aren’t that ‘hunky dorey’ for.

Happy Turkey Day!