I don’t know if it’s that I’m getting older, softer, mushier, or what but there are so many things that make me sad now and I find myself crying. WTF–Boys Don’t Cry as the old Cure song goes right? AND to boot it’s the dumbest things that I cry about. I grew up in The Bronx in the mid seventies to early nineties, NYC was quite the place then–very GRITTY! We travelled the city with IMPUNITY, I was never afraid to go anywhere. I’m just going to list them:
- I get teary eyed when I am watching a show where people have trained and they show those stupid vignettes that show me thier home lives. I was watching the Titan Games a couple nights ago, the two lady competitors, one was an OBGYN, who gets up everyday at 4:30AM to train/workout. She has 3 daughters and she wants to show them that girls are strong! The other girl she went to the Olympics, came in 4th and just trains, she looks at being a Titan her redemption. I start tearing up when I see the dumb vignette that they do for each athlete–UGH!
- Bud Greenspan I HATE you. I have watched those Olympics short stories you produce. The one that sticks with me is when they profile the US Rowing Team in 2000 Olympics in Beijing. Watching the story about their coxswain Mary Whipple (who is 4′ tall?), she wanted to be a rower but was too short–these ladies were TALL and all very pleasing to the eye I might add. Mary spoke about choosing theam, how sad it is to watch those ladies get cut–they worked as hard as the ladies that made the team, but there were only a certain number that could go. When those girls are cut it is very sad, there’s crying, andit just makes me respect what they do. They push their bodies to the max, which they have been doing since they were started rowing, that is extremely moving to me.
- When I see these movies about the struggle of single mom’s and what they had to do to keep their kid on the straight and narrow or how they had to fight to get by. It makes me think of my mother, she was a great woman, gave me everything, she made sure EVERYDAY that I didn’t want for anything. There was nothing that I ever wanted or needed that she wouldn’t go to end of the world to make sure I had it. Don’t get me wrong, she also taught me the value of a dollar I had a paper route from age 8-18!What really makes me cry is that these struggles were real, it is as if they are in my life. Personally when I see these shows/movies it always make me lament that I didn’t thank my mother or say ‘I love you,’ to her. We just weren’t that ‘touchy feely.’
- It makes me sad when I think about all the things I never said to my mother, we were never the ‘touchy feely’ family, I learned about expressing my emotions when I was with Jenn. I think about all the thigs unsaid to her. Now I find it easier to say these things to her, since she’s not in front of me. Honestly she would have thought I wanted something from her–usually money as terrible as I feel about saying that.
- I am also saddened when I think about my marriage and divorce. Pat was a nice lady when I met her but something changed after we were married. She like me never expressed herself, so I never knew what was going on. I in turn never expressed myself, I internalized everything and never spoke about the things bothering me. Indiandian people aren’t supposed to get divorced, we stay together and are miserable. I am glad/sad we never had kids because I’d be stuck in a loveless marriage up to now. When my mother passed away, it was a sort of relief. I didn’t worry about what she would think if we divorced. As much as I miss her and her death saddens me, it gave me a whole new life. I met the greates woman in the world–Kathy. I totally hit the jackpot when I met her. We have the greates kid in the world and I SPOIL HIM ROTTEN as much as I can–THAT MAKES ME HAPPY amongst my sad feelings when I don’t think about him.
- When I see how minorities are diminished now a days it saddens me. What going on now in the Twin Cities, what happened in Atlanta to the kid running, to what happened to Trayvon Martin, and I can go on and on and on and on. Why can’t we break this cycle of police being violent to minorities. I just don’t understand it, it’s very sad.
- On the other side to when I see what black people and other minorities went through pre civil rights amendment. It just sucks, segregated counters, bathrooms, water fountains? Sitting at the back of the bus; not being able to marry a person that wasn’t black. Conversely, it saddens me when I see young black youth acting like idiots, robbing someone, the shootings wherever they occure–just plain old acting like a fool. I’m not trying to point out minorities in general, but just people doing so many DUMB things, it is sad. My mother taught me better than that. I never once feared the police or anything I thought they might do to me, which in my few interaction with them was to help me. This saddens me greatly.
These are just some of the things that affect me, I’m not making a social commentary but I am saying that there are things that shouldn’t effect me this way but unfortunately living in the world we live in just makes me shake my head.